Cassie's Nimble Nuggets

I am on the phone alot with moms of middle school girls, why? Because it is one of the most socially agressive times in a girls life. Its starts around fourth grade and by the time the hormones kick in, girls are struggling with some deep issues. Cutting, sexuality, identity, community, internal, and external pressures. I hope to help give you tools to begin the conversations with your daughters so that they can learn survival skills. These skills will help them thrive in environments where relational aggression flourishes. As your daughter grows and flourishes she can learn to survive this world a little better. Speak up and Be aware All kids struggle with big feelings, the reason why it is so hard for girls is because their feelings shared, can have a direct effect on their social life. Peer pressure for girls is being empathetic and compassionate. You don't want to stand out becuase then you won't have protection. And for many girls they crumble and diminsh who the...

I want to talk to you about one of the hardest things your daughters will deal with.  Petty social environments.  I remember once someone was hurting my daughter socially and being a momma bear, I wanted to go into Defcon 5 mode.  I think every mom has been there, we have felt the hurt of social aggression, especially if we have daughters.   I had felt social agression when I was growing up, but it wasn't until I was in women's ministry that I heard the term social aggression.  What is Social Aggression?   Social aggression is a form of antisocial behavior ( Burt et al., 2012 ) in which social relationships and social status are used to damage reputations and inflict emotional harm on others, and centers on behaviors such as gossiping, ostracism, and threatening to end a friendship. If your a mom of girls, it sounds like every single middle school experience right?  That would be because this is the number one issue girls have....

My children are in the most dreaded season of their lives: Middle School and High School.  It's hard, it's volatile, and it emotionally exhausting for everyone involved. Many moms struggle with middle school. One reason can be that they never dealt the pain of their middle school experience, we have moms reliving the trauma of middle school, and children trying to survive it. It can turn into a mess and our children can feel isolated and alone or disengaged. I want to help you, help them survive middle school.  I have two daughters and one is a freshman in highschool, the other is a sixth grader and I can tell you I was not prepared for girls in middle school and my eldest barely survived it.  I have moms who ask me how to survive it and this whole series is my take on what you can do to help you kids survive middle school. There are three questions I ask my girls everyday when they get in the car.  1. How was your day? 2. Who did you sit with at lunch? 3. Who is dea...

My mom had a sign in her office that was a black and white word document with this quote:  Life is 10% what happens to you 90 % how you react to it. M y mom always had reminders on her walls at work. I thought she had it together and she was so wise when I was in middle school, looking back I see now that she needed that reminder as much as I do at times. We teach every generation what they could be, but rarely ever tell them how to live well here. How do we continue to live when we have a loss that punches you in the gut every single night. A basement level fear that came true, a tough situation at work that you can't shake, and the list could go on and on. We do not know, or ever, have control over some things. I have struggled to respond rather than react.   I teach my children the endless possibilities their life offers. But also, how to live in a world that is broken, fallen, full of heartache, and pain. Many seasons in our lives are endurance seasons, so how do we...

There is no harder job than public service in any capacity, but especially the healthcare profession.  As a nurse, I live in a problematic place daily.  In my position, I am in between management, government, doctors, patients, and families.   I live in the middle of every single statute, and here is where I have to serve people and bring them excellent care.  It is so easy to lose yourself in the demands that everyone is making on you, to lose your identity in trying to please every single power that is telling you what you can and can't do, but I have learned how to shift my perspective in the midst of every single power telling me what I have to do.  I am still Cassie as I follow JHACO policies, I am still Cassie as I am filling out government-mandated documentation, I am still Cassie when I am meeting my management productivity standards, and I am still Cassie when I am dealing with patients and families.  Who I am does not change because my who ...

So I made my eldest daughter cry this week. I picked them up from Gymnastics and when they got in the car my eldest daughter verbalized her frustrations.  "Mom Gina yelled at me tonight because I wasn't doing my turns right."  Now, I am her mother and I should have responded differently but I said: "Good I am glad because that means she is pushing you."  I felt the death glare coming from the back seat and she continued to share her frustrations with and I continued to say that it was a good thing.   The problem was she was tired, eleven, and didn't have the tools in her emotional toolbox to hear what I was saying and so we hugged I told her I loved her and she went to bed.  The next day I apologized to her and tried to again explain to her that I didn't want to see her comfortable and get stagnant.  Growth involves struggle, work, pressure, and sometimes pain.  When you are comfortable you stop growing.   We don't allow that to dull ...

There was a commercial that was popular by JG Wentworth.  The slogan was: It's my money, and I need it now! Typically it was a person yelling this out a window proclaiming that it was their money.   I was in the generation that computers were introduced in mass numbers in school.  The typing class was a must. We learned how to find information on the web rather than in the library.  We learned that we were smarter than our predecessors, we learned there was a faster way, and that life didn't have to be hard.  It was exciting to be a part of the dot com era, we didn't have to wait the way our parents did, we could have things instantly at our fingertips.  It gave us almost a false sense of entitlement and security that life was going to be easy.   Is it any wonder that we struggle with waiting?  I have struggled with the dissonance of where I am and where I think I should be. Add into that my belief in Christ and God's Kingdom and s...

 I had the great opportunity to go and preach at a women's activate in Indiana this past month and can I tell you I loved every single second of it.  I love my sisters across the globe who have launched Propel Chapters, and Kristen's women are amazing.  Kristen showed right delegation, and as I watched her team, I saw women who were united in one goal and all moving in what they were good at.  I smile as I am writing this because their church is just amazing and their senior leadership was just as warm and supportive of the team.  As I was driving home, the Lord was really working on me that I struggle with control.  I don't think that I do, but when I told my team, they laughed at me like they already knew I had control issues.  Self-awareness matters but also the willingness to allow God to pull up the weeds of control in our life garden. Control is a symptom of a deeper problem.  "I don't really think I have control issues, if...

       When I was nineteen years old, I tried out for American Idol.  Yes, I went to the Browns Stadium in Cleveland Ohio, stayed the night and the next morning I sang in front of producers of the show.  As the people were picked, they came up the stairs and sang for the whole crowd.  It was an exciting experience as we waited all day to sing in front of producers for 30 seconds and then not be chosen.  I tried out the year Carrie Underwood won, and although I did not make it past the first rounds, honestly I wasn't too upset about it.  I just wanted the experience of trying out for a singing competition.   As I left I saw people crying; they were devastated as all their dreams were crushed.  I heard some of them; they were professional grade vocalists, no doubt.  But it wasn't what the show was looking for, and so they were not chosen.  Not being chosen caused them to cry, to mourn, to have crestfallen looks. ...

I was the eldest daughter of four kids,  and I was always the first to do something.  It is incredible the thrill of your younger siblings looking up to you; you enjoy taking care of them because they think you're terrific.  When my sister who was younger than me hurt her foot, I took care of her, picked out her clothes, brushed her hair, I then began doing the same for my youngest sister.  Brushing her hair, picking out her clothes, making sure they got their baths.  My mom had a nervous breakdown when I was twelve, so I picked up the role of mothering my sisters and kept it till I was eighteen.     I love my sisters even to this day, but there was a time when my sister shifted from loving me to seeing me as competition.  She would always tell me "My friends like you more."  or, "People think you're better than me."  My sister went from loving me to competing with me.  For me, I saw her as smart, funny, shy, quiet, and pla...

So many of you may or may not know, but I run a nonprofit called On Purpose Consulting Group. Our fantastic team of women has for the past two years,  set up monthly at a local hotel and done a free event to help women internalize a leadership identity. We utilize Propel Women Curriculum, and our heart is to help women living on purpose, for purpose, and with purpose.  I have this vision of seeing a culture of women that know who they are in Christ, are on fire of Jesus, and awake to their purpose.  To do this, it requires more than just me, and I knew that if there was going to be a culture shift than it would require collaboration.   I couldn’t do this alone, and I am so thankful I have amazing people to be a part of On Purpose.  Can I tell you I started with just me sitting on a couch, leading a small group in my local church, to now leading a team of women and growing a nonprofit that began with my passion for helping women find who they are....

 I don't know who I am       I told you my first life crisis of identity was at 28 years an old, standing on a platform singing "I know who I am, I know who I am, I know who I am, I am yours, I am yours."   Well the truth for me during that season was I didn't know who I was anymore and I wasn't sure if I knew who God was.  You see I grew up with a whole lot of damage.  Poverty was a genuine reality for my first eighteen years of my life, abuse was prevalent, and if I am honest, the enemy did an excellent job of hiding my true identity through religious expectation, performance, and perfection.  From the outside, I had it all together standing up on the stage holding a microphone.  My clothes were stylish, my hair and makeup were on point, I had a great husband, beautiful children, and good job. I traded who I was for fitting into a church mold of who I thought I was supposed to be.  Fear, held me back from telling people that I wa...

Today I sat in my car on our way to school and smiled at the two most precious little girls in my life.  "So I heard you girls had a Red Door drill yesterday."  They both looked at me and nodded very serious.  "How do you feel about that,"I asked.   Catie tells me "Mommy it's so we know what to do if something happens."  Kiki says "I get scared at times, mommy."  No mom ever wants to hear that her child is scared, but the reality is this is where we are. I am a post-modern momma, with two little girls, and I have to teach them how to navigate this world, not run from it.  I have seen social media and shook my head at every political 'ideal' on both sides.  I am not an 'ideal' person because, honestly, ideals divide us, they don't create unity, and they don't offer up discussion.  We live in a very broken world, and some people are coming awake to this reality.  I have to teach my children how to be light bearers and...