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Showing posts from February, 2018

I will not bow down to fear, and I won't teach my children too either.

Today I sat in my car on our way to school and smiled at the two most precious little girls in my life.  "So I heard you girls had a Red Door drill yesterday."  They both looked at me and nodded very serious.  "How do you feel about that,"I asked.   Catie tells me "Mommy it's so we know what to do if something happens."  Kiki says "I get scared at times, mommy."  No mom ever wants to hear that her child is scared, but the reality is this is where we are. I am a post-modern momma, with two little girls, and I have to teach them how to navigate this world, not run from it.  I have seen social media and shook my head at every political 'ideal' on both sides.  I am not an 'ideal' person because, honestly, ideals divide us, they don't create unity, and they don't offer up discussion.  We live in a very broken world, and some people are coming awake to this reality.  I have to teach my children how to be light bearers and

I know who I am.

I will never forget the moment I was on stage, playing piano singing the words 'I know who I am, I know who I am, I know who I am,  I am yours, I am yours and you are mine. "  Even while singing the words I knew by heart, I was having a crisis.  I was singing one thing, but my heart was saying "who am I? and "I don't know who I am anymore." I really didn't know who I was anymore, and that for me was terrifying.   You see as a performer, I adapt to my surroundings.   I am what I need to be in a situation, and my life was standing in a hole that needed to be filled at any given moment.   Many people could never figure me out, because the truth is, I never was consistent in who I was.  I was just what I needed to be in that season, I said the right things, did the right things and performed to the level of expectation that was placed before me.  The issue being, I didn't know who I was, I was lost trying to please people.  As I have told you before I