Cassie's Nimble Nuggets

So I have a very transparent confession to make:  I used to be a pretty legalistic person, I could quote scriptures forward and backwards, explain things to you.  Tell you why something is right or wrong, avoid all people who were unholy, imperfect and broken and feel completely justified.  I could explain how someone put themselves there, judge them 'all in the name of God."   It was a very lonely place and there was no joy in that place, no happiness, and honestly no freedom.  It was me looking around at my world pointing out the imperfections of others, feeling smug in the fact that I had it together, I knew my bible, I knew my scripture, and I kept myself in an iron clad suit of my opinions and keeping everyone else away.  The problem was God couldn't heal my very broken and very weak heart from this place.  I was so full of rules, regulations, and doing everything right, that I didn't have grace, compassion, or even empathy for others.  They deserved what they got

I wish I could sit here and tell you I am naturally brave but the truth is I struggle with people.  As much as I have been called rebellious I am actually a pretty straight laced person.  I like rules, I like the boundaries they set and I like to play in between the lines.  Religion was very comfortable for me, I could look the part, dress the part, act the part.  I could fit into the culture that was created and deliver a very stellar performance.  I had a very legalistic mentality because and honestly a whole lot of fear.  I was controlled by my fear of disapproval.  Friends of mine tried to sneak back at Oral Roberts University to meet Christine Caine and I completely chickened out.  It broke the rules and I couldn't do it.  Following Jesus has been a challenge at times because there have been moments where I have had to defy convention and in the last year of my life I have finally spoken what I thought was so wrong.  I have thrown the legalistic rules to the wind, picked up my