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What are we preserving?

        So today is the day of family, friends, and traditions.  Today is the day I reap what I sowed as a child.  My children were up at 4:30 am, when I took the dog out, he decided to take off and I chased him into the neighbor's yard.  Barefoot in the snow, with no coat on is not fun at 33, at 12 it wasn't so bad. I went to my in-laws and then my parents and we are sitting down to eat dinner.  I can tell you that we keep it as simple as we can, and I can also tell you that I am preserving the memories of this year. The many blessings Go has given me astound me every year and take me by surprise as I reflect on how far we have come.  Preserving simply means to maintain something in its original state, and as I sat down this evening  I am reminded, in the midst of the chaos, that we have to choose wisely what we are preserving.  I am preserving the many blessings of God this year, but I am also curiously questioning as a Christ follower, what am I preserving?      Since the b

Stamp of Approval : Part 1

Who do need to seek approval from? So if you have been following my blog for the last two years you know that I have struggled with wanting to be a people pleaser.  Their is a story in the Bible about two brothers Jacob and Esau. Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup essentially.  Did his birthright mean so little to him?  In the same way I have given away my gifting and abilities, and overlooked my God given worth, just for someone to tell me I had value.  Its like a daughter who you tell is beautiful and she won't believe it because someone at school told her she wasn't.  We buy into lies much quicker than we believe the truth, and jump through hoops.   I  have agreed with things I knew was wrong, and all for what?  To have someone approve of me.   Learning that sometimes you have to walk the valley of disapproval to know that even if others forsake you or betray you, God will still be with you.  It is important to inspect and assess you current life, relationships, a

The Virtue of Insight

Sometimes I think "Yes! I am getting my life together!"  and then sometimes I get smacked in the face with an area of my life that needs to be addressed.  So when I came to a small two lined scripture in my Bible it smacked me right between the eyes.  Proverbs 19:11 says A person's insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook and offense.  I really could stop here and let this scripture speak to you but I want to open up and be vulnerable with you because it may help you.  The struggle of unforgiveness.   I spent the first eighteen years of my life building walls around my tender little heart and God has spent the second half of my life tearing down the walls.  You see forgiveness is hard for me, not only in a sense that I can be stubborn but from a very early age I have known abuse and neglect, and my only way of coping was self protection.  My brother recently looked at me and said "You didn't know a kind man before you were eighteen did you?&quo

Thumbprint of Purpose

So I sit with women from time to time and the question is asked in one way or anther:  "What is my purpose?"  We have the world all too willing to tell you your purpose.  Some will say live for the moment, and your purpose is to be happy.  Others will say live for God and you will find your purpose.  Whole marketing campaigns have been around "helping you find your purpose." But what if I told you rather than asking you for money or making you read my blog every week I give you a simple answer to your purpose in life. I can tell you, when I was twenty-eight years old, I was freaking out because, I thought I had to classify my purpose.  The reason we named "On Purpose Consulting Group" is because I knew what anxiety had been caused by believing a lie, instead of God's truth.  Everyone wants to know they have a purpose, which is why so many people have tried to market purpose as a way to sell whatever they are selling. Platforms have been built on t

Confrontation to Restoration

Gut Punch

How to get up when disappointment punches you in the gut

So life was going great, Nic and I are saving money to buy a new house we have been saving to meet our goal, we have ours up on the market, I was working two jobs to try and get more money together faster.  Our family was great and life was calm.  Then in one day I found out my mom had to get testing done to rule out cancer, my dad came into the ER, that I was working at, with a GI bleed, and I got a text from the people who own our dream house saying they couldn't wait anymore. Top it all off with the whole ER team being stressed because it was a super busy day and stick a fork in me I was done.  It was a bad day, it was emotional, and I was scared, frustrated, and disappointed.  What you don't know about me is two years ago this would have put me on the floor in a fetal position crying and unable to get up.  I have told you guys before I was a people pleaser, yeah well I also struggle with how to walk through disappointment.  Disappointment means the feeling of sadness or dis

Burn out: Dry Heart and Soul

SO guys we are so close to being done with this series of Burn out and over it.  I have spent the last three months living out this theory of being burn out and over it. You see it was almost seven years ago God began to take Nic and I on a journey of self discovery.  I think this was before Oceans was popular and we knew God was calling us out of his dads church.   I will never forget when we left there and found a new home church it was like we had a big red bulls eye on us and the enemy it felt like came for us.  In the seven years that has followed God has taken us through seasons of triumph, testing, tribulation, tears, and terror.   2 Timothy 2: 20-21 talks about God setting apart us as honorable instruments for his use.   "So if anyone purifies himself from anything dishonorable he will be a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work."   When you know in the innermost places God has called you you know he has to purify you.  I say

Burn Out: Physical Resilience

So guys we have been going on a journey of resilience, we talked first about spiritual disciplines in respect to building spiritual muscles.  The next I want to focus on is your physical body.  As we are going out of Nurses week I smile at all the memes, the videos honoring nurses for everything we do when honestly there is nothing you could say that can take the wear of my body or the body of other nurses.  So this week I want to talk to you about physical resilience.   We have been in 2 Kings 19 as Elijah went into the desert and fell under the broom tree telling God he was done.  I want to be real with you guys and let you know that at one time or another we have all been 'done.'  I work on an Oncology floor at my hospital and in one shift I can six patients, a death, a fall, an admission, a crazy patient, a crazy family, security called, a code blue and a rapid response.  I don't get to pick what my day looks like, I am on my feet for 12 hours and sometimes I am spoonin

Burn Out: Community Disciplines

So we are currently on a journey, what do you do when you are burnt out and over it?  You have done all you can do, given all that you have, and you are left sleeping under the broom tree asking God to just kill you alone.  Well Elijah was there in 1 Kings 19 and burn out is real, and it is happening.  How we combat it is with the Holy Spirit and learning resilience.  Elijah took himself out of a bad situation and ran for his life. He went alone into the wilderness and he met with God. (Solitude)  and prayed and waited.  God spoke to him in a still small voice. So here is the question:  I have heard many sermons on Elijah and where he went wrong, but sometimes it’s not where we go wrong but where we go right that can put us in some hard situations.  Elijah day in and day out stood up for God, He stood alone against 400 prophets of bail, he remained obedient and he did everything the Lord commanded him.  No one can say Elijah didn’t serve God. Yet he is still human and we all have li

Spiritual Resilience: Personal Disciplines

So last week I talked to you about being burned out.  I told you all the different stressors leading up to burn out.  I talked to you about stress taking a toll on us, how we get burnt out and then we just don't care anymore.  We go on autopilot through life and the scary part is when you numb all the bad feelings to survive you numb all the good too, you don't love, you don't feel, and you cannot seem to find passion and enjoyment in anything.  If you are reading this I want you to know that this is not uncommon and we are taking back our lives from burn out and we are going to learn healthy resiliency strategy's so that we can run faster, stronger, and further than we every have before.  The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy but Christ came to give us life. It is time we start living at full capacity and learn how to stay there.  There are rhythms, disciplines, and strategies that can help you and my hearts desire is to see you flourishing.  So here we go!  

Burned Out and Over It: Factors

There is a whole lot of information on how to lead well, how to build strong teams, how to manage your gifts, talents, and resources.  We have processes for processes research and data are the future.  But I want to take the time to talk to you lovely people about something that most people don't talk about: burn out.    I am a fourth-generation preachers kid and have been in ministry for the majority of my life.  I have seen people drop out, not because they don't love the Lord, or want to do His will, its because they got burnt out. Burn out leads to bad decisions and some of those decisions can lead to lasting and irreversible damage.  Yes, I said the most un-holy word ever: Burn Out.  It happens to us all, and it is dangerous on every level, and while we try to sweep it under the rug rather than deal with it, it will be the biggest silent killer to purpose.    I have been burned out and unable to process, or my emotions are out of control, or my panic attacks are taking ove

Fears, Faith, Flattery

I had a face down moment a few weeks ago.  Like down in the ground, dirt in my mouth moment. God is really stretching my faith, my perspective and my attitude.  I am currently in an unmoveable situation of discomfort, there is no 'feeling it' unless you count discomfort, bitterness  and sometimes it feels like waves crashing over me.  Anger, resentment, frustration, self destructive behaviors and guess what, its all from being obedient to what God told me to do.  Yep I said it, obedient, God told me something and it brought me to the place of discomfort, frustration, bitterness, anger and resentment.  I don't know where you are in your faith but these are not fruits of the spirit, these are fruits of the flesh and in utter frustration I threw my hands up, binged watched netflix that day in the dark, and hid from the world.  So it was no shock the next day as I picked up my Bible and my journal I read my devotion and wrote in my journal.  "I am so angry at you right n

Relationships in the Wait

So last week I talked to you guys about the growth in the wait and how God can use disappointments to be catalysts to where exactly he wants us.  Now if you are anything like me, this statement frustrates you because you are right smack dab in the middle of disappointment, and to you I would continue to encourage you to speak God's truths over your situations, find safe people and get in right relationships.  It is here I want to start this week because we live in a very interconnected cyber world and yet and very disconnected physical world.  I have a seventeen year old step son who I love very much, but he doesn't much like people.  He calls it 'fobbing' when you are on your phone in order to avoid any human interaction.  Sadly, most of us are fobbing through our life trying to avoid the very people God wants us to interact with while trying to impress those who won't remember us in a year.  Ouch, I would highly encourage you this week to sit down and read this