I wish I could sit here and tell you I am naturally brave but the truth is I struggle with people. As much as I have been called rebellious I am actually a pretty straight laced person. I like rules, I like the boundaries they set and I like to play in between the lines. Religion was very comfortable for me, I could look the part, dress the part, act the part. I could fit into the culture that was created and deliver a very stellar performance. I had a very legalistic mentality because and honestly a whole lot of fear. I was controlled by my fear of disapproval. Friends of mine tried to sneak back at Oral Roberts University to meet Christine Caine and I completely chickened out. It broke the rules and I couldn't do it. Following Jesus has been a challenge at times because there have been moments where I have had to defy convention and in the last year of my life I have finally spoken what I thought was so wrong. I have thrown the legalistic rules to the wind, picked up my calling and although at times it hasn't made sense I have whispered "UNAPOLOGETIC she is a woman who leads." It is now a roar and I am living in new territory where although fear is present I am no longer a slave to it. I have started to steward and leverage my influence and God has met me every step of the way. My favorite story in the bible is Esther for several reasons, one she was a godly queen in a world that was very worldly. Two God used her in such a mighty way.
She was chosen
Through a series of unfortunate events the first queen of Persia was exiled for disobeying a king. Also a decree was made that the queen could not come before the king unless she was summoned. Esther was taken from her home, and placed in the Kings Harem, where she prepared for her one night with the king. Through that she was chosen to be queen. Esther was not politically aligned with anyone and she stepped into a position that was never on her radar. Her cousin Mordeccai told her to hide her identity as a Jew, so here she was chosen to be queen of Persia and no one knew her true identity.
The choice
Esther servants were in the kingdom and came back to tell her what was happening in the kingdom. Esthers cousin Mordeccai was in sackcloth and ashes. Many Jews were fasting, weeping, and sitting in sack cloth and ashes. It says in Esther 4: 4 that her servants reported it and Esther was overcome with fear. So the first thing she did was she sent clothes to cover up Mordecai. He refused and she sent one of the kings Eunichs to him and was told the problem. Haman was going to kill all the Jews using the Kings money. He asked her plead with the king, use your influence to save our people.
Esther was given a choice and she responded by stating why she couldn't: She had not been summoned for thirty days, she knew the rules and the rules said she wasn't allowed to go to the King without being punished by death.
After she responded her cousin gave the final response: Don't think you will be saved, God will raise up another deliverer. And the famous line: For who knows maybe you were brought to be in this place for such a time as this. We love to quote this but do we truly understand what it means. Esther was given postition and title to be a deliverer to a nation. She was living in a palace in the largest kingdom of the world. She held a title of influence, and yet her fear of the rule was keeping her bound.
The preparation:
Esther made her decision, she told her cousin to tell all Jews to fast food and water day and night, for three days, here household would do the same. I will go to the king and if I perish, I perish. Esther knew this wasn't an easy task. I think we romanticize her role, like she was the queen, but Esther was living, breathing in the moment and she knew what she had to do. She fasted and prepared herself for her leverage. She met with the king twice, fed him and entertained the enemy at her table before exposing him. She was a deliverer, she saved the people and not only saved them but was able to expose evil and place a righteous man into a role he was worthy of. I can't even imagine the stress, the fear she battled as she took one step in front of another as she spoke out words that may not be accepted. Esther faced fear in the face and walked through it.
You see in order to leverage our influence, our God given influence we have to first let go of our excuses, our fears, and prepare ourselves for our "such a time as this" moments. What would it look like sisters if you didn't quit in the middle of that fear? If you prepared yourself, you fasted, you got on your face and sought God. You then marched a death walk, and then saw God give you victory after victory. It is time for us to leverage our influence for his kingdom.
She was chosen
Through a series of unfortunate events the first queen of Persia was exiled for disobeying a king. Also a decree was made that the queen could not come before the king unless she was summoned. Esther was taken from her home, and placed in the Kings Harem, where she prepared for her one night with the king. Through that she was chosen to be queen. Esther was not politically aligned with anyone and she stepped into a position that was never on her radar. Her cousin Mordeccai told her to hide her identity as a Jew, so here she was chosen to be queen of Persia and no one knew her true identity.
The choice
Esther servants were in the kingdom and came back to tell her what was happening in the kingdom. Esthers cousin Mordeccai was in sackcloth and ashes. Many Jews were fasting, weeping, and sitting in sack cloth and ashes. It says in Esther 4: 4 that her servants reported it and Esther was overcome with fear. So the first thing she did was she sent clothes to cover up Mordecai. He refused and she sent one of the kings Eunichs to him and was told the problem. Haman was going to kill all the Jews using the Kings money. He asked her plead with the king, use your influence to save our people.
Esther was given a choice and she responded by stating why she couldn't: She had not been summoned for thirty days, she knew the rules and the rules said she wasn't allowed to go to the King without being punished by death.
After she responded her cousin gave the final response: Don't think you will be saved, God will raise up another deliverer. And the famous line: For who knows maybe you were brought to be in this place for such a time as this. We love to quote this but do we truly understand what it means. Esther was given postition and title to be a deliverer to a nation. She was living in a palace in the largest kingdom of the world. She held a title of influence, and yet her fear of the rule was keeping her bound.
The preparation:
Esther made her decision, she told her cousin to tell all Jews to fast food and water day and night, for three days, here household would do the same. I will go to the king and if I perish, I perish. Esther knew this wasn't an easy task. I think we romanticize her role, like she was the queen, but Esther was living, breathing in the moment and she knew what she had to do. She fasted and prepared herself for her leverage. She met with the king twice, fed him and entertained the enemy at her table before exposing him. She was a deliverer, she saved the people and not only saved them but was able to expose evil and place a righteous man into a role he was worthy of. I can't even imagine the stress, the fear she battled as she took one step in front of another as she spoke out words that may not be accepted. Esther faced fear in the face and walked through it.
You see in order to leverage our influence, our God given influence we have to first let go of our excuses, our fears, and prepare ourselves for our "such a time as this" moments. What would it look like sisters if you didn't quit in the middle of that fear? If you prepared yourself, you fasted, you got on your face and sought God. You then marched a death walk, and then saw God give you victory after victory. It is time for us to leverage our influence for his kingdom.
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