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Process of Growing

When I was twenty seven I had a "I surrender all moment."  I was driving in a car and God was speaking and I was listening.  "Are you going to step into the call?"  I didn't want to be a preacher, I didn't want to speak.  Singing for me was easier, I loved to worship, I was good at singing but God wanted me to speak.  I defined those boundaries. "I will do kids ministry, I will do teen ministry, but PLEASE do not make me talk to adults they are dumb."  Yes these are the conversations me and God have.  I finally told him "Okay, you win I surrender everything to you."  And then in the next five minutes speaking engagements flourished.... NOT!  He spent four years pulling up past hurts, lack of faith, and I was like "seriously when am I going to speak."  I was focused on the product, God was waiting on my permission to start working on the process.

You see I live in farm county, there are fields all around and one thing I know is planting seasons and prepping for it.  Some years they have everything already planted, but years like this year, they are just now starting to till the ground and get the ground ready.  They till and fertilize first before they ever plant, the picture I have here is actually taken on my way to pick up my girls.  I stopped off because the day before the ground was growing grass and was flat land.  Today it was mixed up and made in rows, to the naked eye though it looks like mud.  It looks a mess, and God placed in my spirit the process of growing for someone and I want to spend some time just focusing on it.  

Releasing the soil
I see us as the land and God as the farmer.  The farmer first has to own the land before he can do anything with it.   God can't do anything with you until you know he owns you, now in today's society we like easy, and free and we don't like anyone telling us what to do.  When we have our surrender moment we are giving God permission to change up the landscape so he can grow what He wants in us.  The grass was growing in the Field the day before but the land was not ready to plant.  The land was not barren, it was able to produce growth, but it wasn't producing what the farmer wanted.  Some of us are frustrated about God not moving or growing in us, but we still refuse to allow him to rip up and fertilize the ground.  We don't want to let go of what we have grown, it took us all winter to grow grass! I wanted it my way and he used some pretty similar people in my path to rip up stuff in me.  

Tilling the soil 
To the ground it may feel like the earth is moving, and the grass is getting displaced and ripped out.  If you would walk though that field today it would be muddy and messy.  That is the season some of us are in.  God has ripped up relationships, dreams, expectations, people, and even stuff.  We are loosing something and we don't understand what we did so wrong that God would allow us to loose.  We said 'yes' and then he took?  Seriously?!  The better question is:  Were you saying yes to the product, because it seems cool and no to the process?"  You see one thing that looks awesome.  I have grown up in church my whole life and I have seen many people want to be pastors or speakers and then tap out because it cost too much.  The product looks cool but there is a refining process that we have to go through.  God spent four years pulling up insecurities, hurts, rejection, gossip and a lot of other things to get my soil ready to be planted.  My ground spiritually was rocky, and I had allowed a lot of weeds to grow, he had to clear the land and then rip up the soil. What is God trying to rip up in your life?  

Fertilizing it 
I used to say "In order to grow you have to have a whole lot of crap dumped on it. And I have had a whole lot of crap placed on me."  This is what we feel like, when we get overlooked, when we are ignored, gossip ed about, and we feel like everything is coming against us.  God is fertilizing you to help grow what he is placing in you.  You see I can't speak into broken people without sharing my own story.  People don't care that I look perfect on the outside they care about my loving savior.  They care about what God has done and how he has worked.  ALL of the trials I have gone through have helped grow good plants in my life which are now bearing fruit.  
So let me ask you, where are you in the process, what is God doing in you and with you?  Understand he has to rip up before he can plant.  I love you all and I hope this helps. 

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