Skip to main content

Process of Growing

When I was twenty seven I had a "I surrender all moment."  I was driving in a car and God was speaking and I was listening.  "Are you going to step into the call?"  I didn't want to be a preacher, I didn't want to speak.  Singing for me was easier, I loved to worship, I was good at singing but God wanted me to speak.  I defined those boundaries. "I will do kids ministry, I will do teen ministry, but PLEASE do not make me talk to adults they are dumb."  Yes these are the conversations me and God have.  I finally told him "Okay, you win I surrender everything to you."  And then in the next five minutes speaking engagements flourished.... NOT!  He spent four years pulling up past hurts, lack of faith, and I was like "seriously when am I going to speak."  I was focused on the product, God was waiting on my permission to start working on the process.

You see I live in farm county, there are fields all around and one thing I know is planting seasons and prepping for it.  Some years they have everything already planted, but years like this year, they are just now starting to till the ground and get the ground ready.  They till and fertilize first before they ever plant, the picture I have here is actually taken on my way to pick up my girls.  I stopped off because the day before the ground was growing grass and was flat land.  Today it was mixed up and made in rows, to the naked eye though it looks like mud.  It looks a mess, and God placed in my spirit the process of growing for someone and I want to spend some time just focusing on it.  

Releasing the soil
I see us as the land and God as the farmer.  The farmer first has to own the land before he can do anything with it.   God can't do anything with you until you know he owns you, now in today's society we like easy, and free and we don't like anyone telling us what to do.  When we have our surrender moment we are giving God permission to change up the landscape so he can grow what He wants in us.  The grass was growing in the Field the day before but the land was not ready to plant.  The land was not barren, it was able to produce growth, but it wasn't producing what the farmer wanted.  Some of us are frustrated about God not moving or growing in us, but we still refuse to allow him to rip up and fertilize the ground.  We don't want to let go of what we have grown, it took us all winter to grow grass! I wanted it my way and he used some pretty similar people in my path to rip up stuff in me.  

Tilling the soil 
To the ground it may feel like the earth is moving, and the grass is getting displaced and ripped out.  If you would walk though that field today it would be muddy and messy.  That is the season some of us are in.  God has ripped up relationships, dreams, expectations, people, and even stuff.  We are loosing something and we don't understand what we did so wrong that God would allow us to loose.  We said 'yes' and then he took?  Seriously?!  The better question is:  Were you saying yes to the product, because it seems cool and no to the process?"  You see one thing that looks awesome.  I have grown up in church my whole life and I have seen many people want to be pastors or speakers and then tap out because it cost too much.  The product looks cool but there is a refining process that we have to go through.  God spent four years pulling up insecurities, hurts, rejection, gossip and a lot of other things to get my soil ready to be planted.  My ground spiritually was rocky, and I had allowed a lot of weeds to grow, he had to clear the land and then rip up the soil. What is God trying to rip up in your life?  

Fertilizing it 
I used to say "In order to grow you have to have a whole lot of crap dumped on it. And I have had a whole lot of crap placed on me."  This is what we feel like, when we get overlooked, when we are ignored, gossip ed about, and we feel like everything is coming against us.  God is fertilizing you to help grow what he is placing in you.  You see I can't speak into broken people without sharing my own story.  People don't care that I look perfect on the outside they care about my loving savior.  They care about what God has done and how he has worked.  ALL of the trials I have gone through have helped grow good plants in my life which are now bearing fruit.  
So let me ask you, where are you in the process, what is God doing in you and with you?  Understand he has to rip up before he can plant.  I love you all and I hope this helps. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Moms Middle School Survival Kit

I am on the phone alot with moms of middle school girls, why? Because it is one of the most socially agressive times in a girls life. Its starts around fourth grade and by the time the hormones kick in, girls are struggling with some deep issues. Cutting, sexuality, identity, community, internal, and external pressures. I hope to help give you tools to begin the conversations with your daughters so that they can learn survival skills. These skills will help them thrive in environments where relational aggression flourishes. As your daughter grows and flourishes she can learn to survive this world a little better. Speak up and Be aware All kids struggle with big feelings, the reason why it is so hard for girls is because their feelings shared, can have a direct effect on their social life. Peer pressure for girls is being empathetic and compassionate. You don't want to stand out becuase then you won't have protection. And for many girls they crumble and diminsh who the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fears, Faith, Flattery

I had a face down moment a few weeks ago.  Like down in the ground, dirt in my mouth moment. God is really stretching my faith, my perspective and my attitude.  I am currently in an unmoveable situation of discomfort, there is no 'feeling it' unless you count discomfort, bitterness  and sometimes it feels like waves crashing over me.  Anger, resentment, frustration, self destructive behaviors and guess what, its all from being obedient to what God told me to do.  Yep I said it, obedient, God told me something and it brought me to the place of discomfort, frustration, bitterness, anger and resentment.  I don't know where you are in your faith but these are not fruits of the spirit, these are fruits of the flesh and in utter frustration I threw my hands up, binged watched netflix that day in the dark, and hid from the world.  So it was no shock the next day as I picked up my Bible and my journal I read my devotion and wrote in my journal.  "I am s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Collaboration Killers: Comparison

       When I was nineteen years old, I tried out for American Idol.  Yes, I went to the Browns Stadium in Cleveland Ohio, stayed the night and the next morning I sang in front of producers of the show.  As the people were picked, they came up the stairs and sang for the whole crowd.  It was an exciting experience as we waited all day to sing in front of producers for 30 seconds and then not be chosen.  I tried out the year Carrie Underwood won, and although I did not make it past the first rounds, honestly I wasn't too upset about it.  I just wanted the experience of trying out for a singing competition.   As I left I saw people crying; they were devastated as all their dreams were crushed.  I heard some of them; they were professional grade vocalists, no doubt.  But it wasn't what the show was looking for, and so they were not chosen.  Not being chosen caused them to cry, to mourn, to have crestfallen looks. ...
Post a Comment
Read more