I had the great opportunity to go and preach at a women's activate in Indiana this past month and can I tell you I loved every single second of it. I love my sisters across the globe who have launched Propel Chapters, and Kristen's women are amazing. Kristen showed right delegation, and as I watched her team, I saw women who were united in one goal and all moving in what they were good at. I smile as I am writing this because their church is just amazing and their senior leadership was just as warm and supportive of the team. As I was driving home, the Lord was really working on me that I struggle with control. I don't think that I do, but when I told my team, they laughed at me like they already knew I had control issues. Self-awareness matters but also the willingness to allow God to pull up the weeds of control in our life garden.
Control is a symptom of a deeper problem.
"I don't really think I have control issues, if people did what I want them too, we wouldn't have any issues." Maybe you have said something like this, perhaps you have someone in your life who says something like this. I think if we are honest ALL of us have control issues in one form or another. The question I first want to ask is why? Why do you have control issues, why do I? Our control issues stem from our coping with broken areas in our lives that we feel have at one time or another lost control. Let me pull back the curtain for a minute and share with you that my life was boundaryless for the first 18 years. There was never enough food, money, or clothes. Many times we went without water, electricity, gas, and cable was considered a luxury item that if we had money we could get. My parents were never home, and we were taken to many different environments and were surrounded by many different people. Some of which, were sexual perpetrators, others who caused a lot of damage to our self-worth as people. It is no surprise from the age of fifteen till nineteen I struggled with anorexia because control issues will find their way out in one way or another.
Control wrecks relationships
When talking about collaborating I want to be real, honest, and transparent and tell you I struggle with close relationships. Even today I get honest with God about my fears of relationships. People who should have loved me had rejected me, including my biological father, who signed over custody of me when I was three months old. Add that sexual abuse, trauma, religious abuse, and a hot mess of crazy and your worldview is skewed by your past experiences. The fact that I have been married to one man for fourteen years is a testament to my God, no one else. You see when I struggle to filter my life through my life experience, aka ME. I can't allow God to work and control will wreck my relationships which I need to have to collaborate. So how do we do it? How do we not allow control in our lives? I have found that I filter everything in my life through scripture instead of my thoughts.
Healing my issues.
I remember a few years ago I cried as I read the woman with the issue of blood. She was an interruption to the story, but I found that though no one could heal her issue, Jesus did. I could see my life through her lens, understanding the isolation of my issue. I was bleeding emotionally, I couldn't stop it, and when I tried to reach out to others, I was rejected. I couldn't change I tried, yet I found that people couldn't change me. It hurt, it made me feel even worse, and left me sitting alone, labeled, and compartmentalized. When I read this scripture, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper "I heal all issues." I began to cry and then out loud to God saying "I have issues here, I don't know how to stop the bleeding, I don't know how to stop the pain, but I want to be well." The bible has over and over again states that God is for those with issues. He is for those who are scared, who have fear, and yes have control issues. God wants to heal you and me in this area and can I tell you something, it is an everyday occurrence.
Control to Collaborate
When you feel like you are controlling when everything is raging inside you, can I encourage you to reach out? The antidote to control is really healthy relationships. Control isolates us, keeps others away, and it feeds our fears. The Bible has multiple occurrences where control was left and people stepped into their purpose and found collaboration with other like-minded believers. On the other side of your fear are God designed relationships, and on the other side of control is Christ's Lordship. Be brave and be willing to step out and be brave.
Control is a symptom of a deeper problem.
"I don't really think I have control issues, if people did what I want them too, we wouldn't have any issues." Maybe you have said something like this, perhaps you have someone in your life who says something like this. I think if we are honest ALL of us have control issues in one form or another. The question I first want to ask is why? Why do you have control issues, why do I? Our control issues stem from our coping with broken areas in our lives that we feel have at one time or another lost control. Let me pull back the curtain for a minute and share with you that my life was boundaryless for the first 18 years. There was never enough food, money, or clothes. Many times we went without water, electricity, gas, and cable was considered a luxury item that if we had money we could get. My parents were never home, and we were taken to many different environments and were surrounded by many different people. Some of which, were sexual perpetrators, others who caused a lot of damage to our self-worth as people. It is no surprise from the age of fifteen till nineteen I struggled with anorexia because control issues will find their way out in one way or another.
Control wrecks relationships
When talking about collaborating I want to be real, honest, and transparent and tell you I struggle with close relationships. Even today I get honest with God about my fears of relationships. People who should have loved me had rejected me, including my biological father, who signed over custody of me when I was three months old. Add that sexual abuse, trauma, religious abuse, and a hot mess of crazy and your worldview is skewed by your past experiences. The fact that I have been married to one man for fourteen years is a testament to my God, no one else. You see when I struggle to filter my life through my life experience, aka ME. I can't allow God to work and control will wreck my relationships which I need to have to collaborate. So how do we do it? How do we not allow control in our lives? I have found that I filter everything in my life through scripture instead of my thoughts.
Healing my issues.
I remember a few years ago I cried as I read the woman with the issue of blood. She was an interruption to the story, but I found that though no one could heal her issue, Jesus did. I could see my life through her lens, understanding the isolation of my issue. I was bleeding emotionally, I couldn't stop it, and when I tried to reach out to others, I was rejected. I couldn't change I tried, yet I found that people couldn't change me. It hurt, it made me feel even worse, and left me sitting alone, labeled, and compartmentalized. When I read this scripture, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper "I heal all issues." I began to cry and then out loud to God saying "I have issues here, I don't know how to stop the bleeding, I don't know how to stop the pain, but I want to be well." The bible has over and over again states that God is for those with issues. He is for those who are scared, who have fear, and yes have control issues. God wants to heal you and me in this area and can I tell you something, it is an everyday occurrence.
Control to Collaborate
When you feel like you are controlling when everything is raging inside you, can I encourage you to reach out? The antidote to control is really healthy relationships. Control isolates us, keeps others away, and it feeds our fears. The Bible has multiple occurrences where control was left and people stepped into their purpose and found collaboration with other like-minded believers. On the other side of your fear are God designed relationships, and on the other side of control is Christ's Lordship. Be brave and be willing to step out and be brave.
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