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Is my Busy Breaking my Kids?



Busy Reflections

Thanksgiving this year was so peaceful we had my inlaws over for lunch, then went to my parents for desert and played Yahtzee.  I never remember playing games with my parents and as we sat around the table me, my husband, my parents, and my sister.  I looked at my mom "Why didn't we do this when I was little?"  She said openly "Because I let the enemy steal what was important."  I love my mom because she is open but also it is my biggest fear to follow down this same path.  So when I picked up Allie Worthingtons' "Breaking Busy"  I honestly wanted to break busy and keep it from stealing what was stolen from me.  I can say that this book for me was like sitting down with a big sister and having her share her stories with me.  I cried when I heard how God sat her down and how he adjusted her perspective.  The first four chapters just sucked me in.  But two chapters hit me the hardest:  Editing and Thoughts.

Me Busy??

I am officially a recovering people pleaser, I want people to like me. I want someone to tell me I have value, but I found that this was exhausting me.  I was seeking relational value from people of position not people who were in relationship with me.  Its funny that this is what we do.  But I made the decision and prayed a prayer "Father edit out the people and things in my life who are harming me, who are hindering me and who are going to stop your plans for my life."  Now for me this happened in three days, and it hurt, a lot.  Tears hit my journal pages as I cried out to God, allowing my hurt to go into my prayers and asking God to make it better.   There were things weighing me down, people who were there for a season but never meant to be my center.  It was taking up all my energy, my prayers were consumed with this for almost a year.  Finally God spoke he said "I am not changing my mind.  Quit wasting your prayers on dead things."  ouch that hurt.  I was raw, undone, and completely scared to pick up "Breaking Busy"

Broken Busy

But then I did, and I came to the Thoughts chapter.  The words God spoke to Allie He spoke through her to me.  I memorized Psalm 23 when I was six, and at times scripture becomes repetitive to me and she brought it to life in such an amazing way.  It was like aloe on my sunburn and it soothed the sting of rejection, and centered my perspective.  Even though Allie didn't know it, she was at my kitchen table and her words wrapped around me and held me, calmed my fear that I was never going to do what God called me to.  "Breaking Busy" gave me a new filter and tools to help me make decisions it gave me permission to say "no, I am sorry I can't do that. This is where I am going and I can't do what I need to do if I am busy doing what you want me to do."  When I feel this overwhelming need to please people trying to trap me again I sit close my eyes and say "You are my Shepherd, You alone are enough."

After I am finished writing this, I am going to put my computer down, and go play barbies with my daughters, and spend quality time with my girls and build the memories I wish I had.  I don't want to have a legacy of Busy, I don't want my daughters to feel like they have to pencil in time with their mom.  I am not anxious, hurt, or weary, I am resting in God's peace and from there I am able to fulfill my purpose.  He is enough for me, its from here I flourish and nowhere else.

To Purchase the book go to: http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Busy-Peace-Purpose-World/dp/0310342228  Are you ready to Break Busy?  

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