So last week I talked to you all about the tension in the wait and what faith really is. Well, its the space between waiting and trusting at the same time. This week I want to talk to you about a different part of the wait, one that builds character, that allows our roots to go deep, or allows us to stop growing all together. It is the pain in the wait. Now I don't know about you, but I don't like to be in pain, but at least once a week my husband uses a torture device on my neck and shoulders to loosen up the muscles. It hurts, I have to breath through the pain, but the pain of the massage is nothing compared to what would happen if I threw my back out, which I have done. I truly believe there are several different kinds of pain that we can either use as catalysts or death certificates.
The Growth of disappointment:
Lisa Harper says "Disappointment is guaranteed, Drama is a choice." Life is completely and totally full of disappointment. Ecclesiastes says there is a season for everything in Chapter 3, but the truth is we want the season of plenty only, not everything. In the waiting place, disappointment can seem like a death sentence, but it honestly is a choice of reaction. I can go dry here or I can go deep here, it depends on my root system. I see the wilderness season or the wait as a dry place, a place where my roots have to go deep. There are many facets of the wait but the roots, where I find my spiritual strength have to dig deep. On the outside I may look like I am barely surviving, thriving, doing minimal to bear fruit. But under the ground roots are going deep to find God in the dry places, we run from the dry places. We say "I can't grow here, or its too hard." We won't surrender our will to His and so our roots are shallow, and our faith only produces a certain amount of fruit but it isn't full. If we truly want to walk out His plan and purpose we have to grow through the wait. Most people like shallow "I love Jesus faith." they run, hide, avoid, and deny the true work God is trying to do because it costs more than they are willing to give.
In order for a seed to produce fruit it has to die. I am so sorry my friends but it does. Our will has to die in order for God to do what only He can in our lives. Disappointment is one of those ways, and I have dealt with it all my life. For a former perfectionist my life has never gone as I wanted it too. I never had enough money for nice clothes as a child, I never had great friends, I never had the right connections, and I can't seem to say the right things. People don't flock to me as a person, I am a very unique cup of tea, some love me, some hate me. I struggled for a long time with separating the pain of rejection with the pain of disappointment. It has only been in the recent years where I have defined it.
Disappointment is something you hoped for, you stepped out for, and it didn't happen. It has more to do with expectation than anything else. I don't know if you have been there, promises were made and easily broken. You were expecting, anticipating, and planning life on something and then the bottom falls out and you are left with the pain in the wait. Fear hits you, sometimes shame, others rejection, you are unsure if you are able to get back up. And truth be told many of us live on the floor of our disappointment. Many people choose to build walls, to shut out and shut down, they stop growing and they begin to get stuck in their disappointment. We cope rather than deal and we quit rather than heal.
How do we deal?
Disappointment is combated with several things and the quicker you get back up the faster you recover from the pain of disappointment. I would like to talk from experience, I recently had two disappointment in one day. At the beginning of my wait season it would have taken months to recover from these two, but I have had several years and lots of practice at moving through disappointment. I first feel the pain, I don't run from it, avoid it or stuff it away, I embrace everything it is. I then take it to God, normally in the form of a walk, I found myself walking and walked along side of the creek near my house. I found a fallen tree and sat on it, I took some deep cleansing breaths and listened to the water and said out loud "The Lord is my shepherd there is nothing I lack. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. Psalms 23 was memorized as a child and is lived out as a grown women. I repeated the psalm several times with tears running down my cheeks and I reminded myself that He is my shepherd and He is in control. Disappointment can take us to fear and fear to mistrust, and victimization. But when we choose to call out our feelings and say "You are my shepherd there is nothing I lack." We begin to apply God's truth to our disappointment. We speak it before we believe it, when I hang an antibiotic and hook a patient up to the fluid, I don't say 'okay you are all better!" No I have to get the medicine into their blood, let it seep into their cells and many times it takes multiple applications of Intravenous Antibiotics before they begin to see the affects of the antibiotic. The same is with Gods word, we have to speak it, apply it, before we begin to see it operate in our lives. I quote scripture and apply it to the sore places of disappointment. "ALL things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. So I know my disappointment will work for his good. It is not easy but it is needed.
The next thing I do is so vitally important as well because God doesn't want us to live isolated lives, he wants us to be in relationship with Him and others. I have over the years found 'safe spaces' and safe people to share my heart. I have learned through disappointment and betrayal that not everyone is for you, and not everyone understands you. You have to have a safe space to go to and for me I am blessed after many trial and errors, to have several safe confidants. I then called them systematically I cried as I told the first one "You are allowed to feel disappointment, Cassie." is what she said. "Understand you struggle with rejection, and don't get stuck here." You are allowed to feel disappointment, you are allowed to feel sadness, but you are not allowed to get stuck there. I shared with three people that night and let their love and affection, and godly wisdom, and my husband was included in that group. I felt my feelings and then later that night I opened my word, and I got out my journal and I wrote down to God how I was feeling again and He led me to some healing scriptures.
Take inventory in your wait season. Is there anything that you are struggling with because 'it doesn't look like I thought it would." You see many times in my life I have to reconcile my doctrine with who God is. Because my doctrine sometimes isn't a true picture of who God is. It sometimes is my desires wrapped in a 'Godlike box." God tells Isaiah "My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts." God is always working things for us good, but we have to be willing to allow him to prune our mindsets and our expectations, before we can see what he is doing. It is time we get honest with where we are, have we allowed disappointment to get us stuck? Have we built our home here and refused to move because it caused us to shrink back rather than move forward. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel, apply Gods truth, get your community, and then take it back to God. He is a good father and no good thing does he withhold. I love you all, lets grow in our wait.
The Growth of disappointment:
Lisa Harper says "Disappointment is guaranteed, Drama is a choice." Life is completely and totally full of disappointment. Ecclesiastes says there is a season for everything in Chapter 3, but the truth is we want the season of plenty only, not everything. In the waiting place, disappointment can seem like a death sentence, but it honestly is a choice of reaction. I can go dry here or I can go deep here, it depends on my root system. I see the wilderness season or the wait as a dry place, a place where my roots have to go deep. There are many facets of the wait but the roots, where I find my spiritual strength have to dig deep. On the outside I may look like I am barely surviving, thriving, doing minimal to bear fruit. But under the ground roots are going deep to find God in the dry places, we run from the dry places. We say "I can't grow here, or its too hard." We won't surrender our will to His and so our roots are shallow, and our faith only produces a certain amount of fruit but it isn't full. If we truly want to walk out His plan and purpose we have to grow through the wait. Most people like shallow "I love Jesus faith." they run, hide, avoid, and deny the true work God is trying to do because it costs more than they are willing to give. In order for a seed to produce fruit it has to die. I am so sorry my friends but it does. Our will has to die in order for God to do what only He can in our lives. Disappointment is one of those ways, and I have dealt with it all my life. For a former perfectionist my life has never gone as I wanted it too. I never had enough money for nice clothes as a child, I never had great friends, I never had the right connections, and I can't seem to say the right things. People don't flock to me as a person, I am a very unique cup of tea, some love me, some hate me. I struggled for a long time with separating the pain of rejection with the pain of disappointment. It has only been in the recent years where I have defined it.
Disappointment is something you hoped for, you stepped out for, and it didn't happen. It has more to do with expectation than anything else. I don't know if you have been there, promises were made and easily broken. You were expecting, anticipating, and planning life on something and then the bottom falls out and you are left with the pain in the wait. Fear hits you, sometimes shame, others rejection, you are unsure if you are able to get back up. And truth be told many of us live on the floor of our disappointment. Many people choose to build walls, to shut out and shut down, they stop growing and they begin to get stuck in their disappointment. We cope rather than deal and we quit rather than heal.
How do we deal?
Disappointment is combated with several things and the quicker you get back up the faster you recover from the pain of disappointment. I would like to talk from experience, I recently had two disappointment in one day. At the beginning of my wait season it would have taken months to recover from these two, but I have had several years and lots of practice at moving through disappointment. I first feel the pain, I don't run from it, avoid it or stuff it away, I embrace everything it is. I then take it to God, normally in the form of a walk, I found myself walking and walked along side of the creek near my house. I found a fallen tree and sat on it, I took some deep cleansing breaths and listened to the water and said out loud "The Lord is my shepherd there is nothing I lack. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. Psalms 23 was memorized as a child and is lived out as a grown women. I repeated the psalm several times with tears running down my cheeks and I reminded myself that He is my shepherd and He is in control. Disappointment can take us to fear and fear to mistrust, and victimization. But when we choose to call out our feelings and say "You are my shepherd there is nothing I lack." We begin to apply God's truth to our disappointment. We speak it before we believe it, when I hang an antibiotic and hook a patient up to the fluid, I don't say 'okay you are all better!" No I have to get the medicine into their blood, let it seep into their cells and many times it takes multiple applications of Intravenous Antibiotics before they begin to see the affects of the antibiotic. The same is with Gods word, we have to speak it, apply it, before we begin to see it operate in our lives. I quote scripture and apply it to the sore places of disappointment. "ALL things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. So I know my disappointment will work for his good. It is not easy but it is needed.
The next thing I do is so vitally important as well because God doesn't want us to live isolated lives, he wants us to be in relationship with Him and others. I have over the years found 'safe spaces' and safe people to share my heart. I have learned through disappointment and betrayal that not everyone is for you, and not everyone understands you. You have to have a safe space to go to and for me I am blessed after many trial and errors, to have several safe confidants. I then called them systematically I cried as I told the first one "You are allowed to feel disappointment, Cassie." is what she said. "Understand you struggle with rejection, and don't get stuck here." You are allowed to feel disappointment, you are allowed to feel sadness, but you are not allowed to get stuck there. I shared with three people that night and let their love and affection, and godly wisdom, and my husband was included in that group. I felt my feelings and then later that night I opened my word, and I got out my journal and I wrote down to God how I was feeling again and He led me to some healing scriptures.
Take inventory in your wait season. Is there anything that you are struggling with because 'it doesn't look like I thought it would." You see many times in my life I have to reconcile my doctrine with who God is. Because my doctrine sometimes isn't a true picture of who God is. It sometimes is my desires wrapped in a 'Godlike box." God tells Isaiah "My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts." God is always working things for us good, but we have to be willing to allow him to prune our mindsets and our expectations, before we can see what he is doing. It is time we get honest with where we are, have we allowed disappointment to get us stuck? Have we built our home here and refused to move because it caused us to shrink back rather than move forward. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel, apply Gods truth, get your community, and then take it back to God. He is a good father and no good thing does he withhold. I love you all, lets grow in our wait.
Comments
Post a Comment