I have always known I was called to ministry, I loved the Lord, but I really struggled with church politics, I loved the word, but sometimes those who spoke it, did so in a very unhealthy way. In 2015 I went to Tulsa, OK alone and went to a Propel Activate event. I had no idea what God was doing but I was obeying him. I sat while Kari Jobe sang "It is well" and God began to speak and I wrote down in my journal what He was saying. "I haven't called you to one church, but to many and I have called you to mentor a generation." He gave me other words and instructions but I walked away knowing that he was calling me into the world for his purpose. I came home and shared with Erin my heart and she said yes, our Propel Connect was birthed from here, and On Purpose Ministries grew from here. We jumped both feet in and are leading women in our local community to Jesus. We are seeing women drop shame, doubt, hurt, and fear and pick up God's all for there life. They are able to move forward and be propelled towards who God called them to be. It is beautiful, it is awe inspiring and I am humbled to stand here and tell you God is amazing and I am mentoring people from all different churches. I am doing what He said I would do. But here is the thing: I have had to fight the whole way and I have almost lost my soul, my mind, my heart, and my body along the way, am I am not even done yet, I will keep fighting until I breathe my last breath. I have struggled with anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, hurt, comparison, exhaustion, bitterness, and pain. I have been talked about by those who I thought would be for me and I have had to stand in an uncomfortable space as team members walked away, those who I thought were friends remove themselves from my life, and yet here I stand. Serving Jesus guarding my heart and still in love with the Savior. I have found sisters who love me exactly the way that I am and I have found healing along the way, I have forgiven more than I thought possible, and my heart is softer, healthier, now than it was when God spoke into my life. I say all this because I am still a nurse working 32 hours a week on an oncology floor, run On Purpose Ministries, spend time with my kids, my husband, and my friends. My life is full but I am running better now than ever before in my life, I am keeping all of who I am no matter what is happening around me.
Spiritual Discipline is so important that is why I am speaking on it first because your spiritual health is so important. If you do not know Jesus as your Lord and Savior I want to encourage you to make that step towards Him, you won't regret it. The next step is committing to the process of being more like Jesus. Why? because most people want the products of Jesus but don't correlate that we should be like Him the process of becoming like Him is godliness. Christian means Christlike and we are changed spiritually by three things: people, circumstances, and spiritual disciplines. Two of these we have no control over, but one is up to us.
So what is it? Well it is the practices found in scripture that promote spiritual growth. It changes us, and helps us see others better. Jesus was asked "What is the greatest command?" Jesus replied "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. AND the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." So how do we do that? How do we follow the greatest command and the second greatest? Why through Spiritual Disciplines. So most of you know about Jesus, but you don't know about Spiritual Disciplines, they are split up into two sections: Personal Discipline and Community Disciplines. Why? Because of the two commands one is about your personal relationship with Jesus and the other is your community. There is always a dissonance with Personal and Community because you have to learn when you need solitude and when you need to seek out healthy relationships. Some people want to stay in solitude and never engage in people, not seek out relationships, but are very knowledgeable in the word, but most struggle to connect with others that can benefit from their knowledge. Others love going to church, being in community but they don't commit to making time for personal spiritual growth with will make their relationships richer.
Personal Disciplines
So here our the personal disciplines: Bible Intake, Prayer, Solitude, Fasting, Silence, Journaling and Learning. It sounds like alot but the truth is I fit it in everyday in one way or another. Bible intake, I am not going to lie I believe the Word of God is alive and it speaks to me so I enjoy reading it. When people tell me they want to hear God's voice the first thing I tell them is get in your Bible because you can't know His voice till you know him. There are some helpful apps for phones but I love my bible, I love to touch the pages, write on it, and make notes because its mine and God speaks to me in my bible. Find a Bible that you can read, understand, and that helps you. I use the HCSB study bible and I love it. But I also will search scriptures on www.biblegateway.com and youversion app to see how the scriptures our in different translations I like to study out concepts and I pray and ask God to guide me through scriptures. I memorize scriptures because there are times when my thoughts are overtaking me and I will say out loud "I take captive EVERY thought that doesn't line up with what you say about me!" "You have not given me a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." I proclaim His truths even though my circumstances don't look like it I am telling them to line up with what God says. When you know scripture you know how to wield your sword.
I spend time in solitude and silence, this can be with my bible time or I can be in my car or on a walk in nature. I know when I am struggling with emotions or when people hurt me I go alone and spend time with God. Jesus did this and it is seen in Matt 4:1, Matt 14:3, Mark 1:35, and Luke 4:42, he spent time alone in solitude and in prayer. Fasting is something that most people don't talk about except maybe once a year churches do cooperate fasts whether through Lent of the first 40 days of the year. Jesus fasted, he spent several times fasting when he was in the desert for 40 days being tempted Jesus didn't eat food. Also in Mark 9 a man asked Jesus disciples to cast out a demon, and they couldn't. Jesus came down off the mount of configuration and cast out the demon. His disciples asked him why they couldn't cast out the demon and he responded in verse 29 "This kind can come out by nothing other than prayer and fasting." Fasting is extremely personal Jesus told his disciples to not be like the pharisees announcing their fasting but to fast in private. There have been times God has told me to fast and I have, it was through those seasons that he has done some pretty great miracles in my life.
Journaling is extremely important for me because it helps me have a place to express what I am feeling and bringing it to the one who cares for me. I can say there "I hate this! I am hurting here! I am so angry here!" and it doesn't cause anyone else harm. David wrote in the Psalms his most private thoughts to God begging for His help, trusting him but still expressing what he was feeling. I think at times we don't want to be honest and embrace all of who we are, the good, the bad, and the ugly. When I write my fears, my pain, my anger, call them out and give them to God it helps me to work through even the most dark things that I am struggling with. I also will go back and read what I wrote and thank God because I am growing every single day, learning and moving forward. He has helped me with this process along the way. So today can I encourage you to take the steps to be more like Jesus to spend some time in solitude, in your word, and seeking out the creator of the universe.
"Discipline without direction is drudgery - Donald Whitney" God is leading us on the greatest journey of our lives let us learn His direction and then follow it. Next week the Community Disciplines!
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