In the Middle of Mediocre

So I have spent much time since last week praying and thinking on what I wanted to say to you this week.  God began to give me some words and one of them was the word Mediocre.  Now when we think of mediocre we think of “meh” like lukewarm tap water, if I was thirsty enough I would drink it but it isn’t really satisfying.  I have spent the majority of my life being bi vocational, I have worked a job and done ministry and I had a time when I was ready to be done with my “job” and do my ministry.  I would walk every night after the kids went to bed and I would normally complain to God, it was a rough season.  I had two little kids, worked more than full time and did over 20 hours of ministry work.  I wanted to be in full time ministry, but my leader didn’t see me as full time leader material, half because of my gender, half because of my youthful zeal aka immaturity.  I was griping to God, telling him how unfair it was, how I didn’t understand, when he silenced me audibly.  I remember exactly where I was when I heard the voice speak.  

    “You have physically brought healing to people’s bodies, more than your pastor will ever touch and you ask me when I will use you?  Have you not considered that I am using you now.”  I had already been a nurse for 7 years and God was right my hands had brought healing to many people.  I wanted to say “But I don’t want to do that anymore its too hard, its too time consuming and quite frankly “I don’t want too!”  I want to be quite honest with you, nursing was never on my radar I wanted to be a pop star growing up or a music teacher, never a nurse. So in my hard season God spoke something to me and really gave me a great check point.  I was in the middle of my mediocre and I had to accept my assignment, which was to keep doing both.  God used this season, to help grow maturity and faithfulness in me.  And it was in the middle of my mediocre that I met Christine Caine, Lisa Bevere, and found Propel, which led me to starting On Purpose Ministries.  Please hear me I am still in the season of Mediocre because here is a secret:  Every season is nothing but mediocre moments that prepare you for the next season.  It is rhythmic and it is routine and I, as a creative person, don’t like it, at all.  So as I sat down to write this letter to you lovely ones, God spoke and here is what He told me and I want to tell you.  

Your Work is Valuable.  

I first want you to know that your work is valuable.  Yes it is, don’t argue with me.  You see I have done everything from clean up body fluids, to wiping floor, to holding people as they loose their loved ones, getting told I am a b*****, a horrible nurse, and everything in between, to doing compressions on a lifeless body, that as soon as it came back to life the person yelled even more at me.(true story)  All of it is valuable even if it doesn’t feel meaningful.  It doesn’t matter if you are a cashier, a mom, a business owner, a pastor, a health care worker, or a blogger.  You are valuable and the work that you do is valuable.   I have been sent here to tell you God doesn't work in the highlight reel he works in the middle of mediocre moments when no one is watching.  Those moments when disappointment is a raging monster that you swear is killing every single thing you ever dreamed. You are fighting yourself and others to maintain the vision you know God placed in your hands,  and what is left Jealousy and Complacency are competing to finish it off.

I am here to tell you God doesn't work in the highlight reel. He doesn't really care about your news feed, He works in the middle of mediocre moments when no one is watching.   You thought God plans were to prosper you but you never thought it would be this hard, that you would loose this much, and for what?  A dream you thought God gave you?  You question reality, sanity, and your whole paradigm of life.  

  Yeah I have been there too, lived there for a long season and questioned every single thing I thought God was trying to do. It didn’t look like how I thought it should and I was convinced either God hated me, everything was my fault, or I was being punished. I have clung to the scripture that ALL things WORK together for good to them who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) You see I like the part where good comes from it, but I don’t like the part where it says it Works, which means that their is effort behind it, it requires something and normally that something is me letting go of my way and picking up His Purpose.  I am not here to say to you “God has a plan and a purpose for you.”  I am here to tell you you have a responsibility to let him Work you out to His purpose, not yours.  

I have stood where you are standing the precipice of purpose is in the middle of mediocre.  Do NOT STOP.  You see God doesn't hate you he is allowing endurance to be built. I want to tell you God is remaking you into a person that will be ready to handle the promise he has for you.  But you have to commit to the path, build the endurance, seek wisdom, seek coaches and mentors.  Your work is Holy, because it was given to you by the Holy one.  Your work in the mediocre is preparing you for your next season, don’t skip out on it.  Don’t compare yourself, Align your doctrine with His gospel, and most importantly know that all of God’s “Heroes of Faith”  worked hard. You among good company in the middle of your mediocre. We want to escape and he wants us remade, you pain has purpose, you past has power, and your present is your preparation. Don't skip, don't sprint, don't stumble keep moving forward, keep pushing through.